Sunday, September 28, 2008

Simon Says: Cross Your Arms if You're Troo

All right, since we seem to have some seriously knowledgeable people checking into this site now and we're starting to get rolling, I figured I'd throw another new one up.

I have an inkling I know who this is, but I'm not positive. The thing that cracks me up most about this one is that it looks like it was taken at a renaissance fair or something (see the woman in the background on the far left). Which would be OK if the band was dressed appropriately. But, no, these guys look like they were on their way to 7-11 for some beef jerky and a half-rack, saw the ren fair and thought, “Whoa, wouldn't it be cool to get our picture taken with, like, a medieval village behind us?"

Not so much.

Update: Crap! I gotta start putting some harder ones up. This was barely online for two hours before "anonymous" confirmed it as Griffin (as I had suspected). They were a power metal band from SF who recorded an album for Shrapnel ('84) and one for Steamhammer ('86). I have both, but I seem to recall the Shrapnel effort being the better of the two.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Drugstore Perms: Metal or Not? Discuss...

These dudes are definitely European. I can’t tell you why I know that. I just do. I have no idea who this band is, but I know they are definitely Old World. Or maybe Canadian.

It’s also clear that they subscribed to a number of the various “how to dress like a metal band” theories of the day: the spiked and studded leather sash, the sleeveless animal print shirt, the snug-fitting spandex, etc., etc. The leather says they're tough, the spandex says, “look what I've got, ladies.” I’m not exactly sure what the facial hair says. Maybe, “I just reached puberty.”

So, have at it. Even if you don’t have a clue who this band is, feel free to weigh in on just how excellent this picture is, or we could just argue about Fate’s Warning, if that’s your thing.

Update: Well, it seems that I’ve had one of the most hilarious pictures of Helloween known to man stashed away in storage for the last 20+ years. Although, this was probably not that hilarious at the time (circa 1985?), I’m pretty sure that these dudes would not be stoked to see this posted on the Interweb in 2008. Too bad. Congrats to my Fates Warning-loving pal Helm for nailing it right off the bat.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Shirt Optional

I think this may be an easy one. Though I know this isn't Fate's Warning, for some reason, that's the name that keeps popping into my head. So, I figure this must be either from that same era, same part of the country, or same style (remember, before Fate's Warning got all proggy, they were basically just an Iron Maiden clone).

Best part of this photo is the dude in the middle. Wow. Where to begin... He's rockin' the spandex and the S&M gear like a real man should. The other dudes are pretty much just toeing the metal party line of the day, as it were--black/red/white leather jackets and pants, some white Nikes, denim vest, etc. Guy on the left, however, forgot that "smiling is not metal."

Nonetheless, this is the promo photo the band chose to send out to fanzines some 20-plus years ago. Probably had no idea some jerk would be putting it online and mocking it long after they had all given up their dreams of rock stardom. Or have they?

Update: Once again Mr. Christe has (I believe) nailed it by identifying these guys as Liege Lord. I’m inclined to believe that’s correct since that name was in the back of my mind. Liege Lord seem to still be active to some degree, but there are no photos (even old ones) on their site as cool as this one.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Spot the '80s Metal Wardrobe Essentials

Let's start off by ticking off the checklist of essential "metal" accoutrements we can spot in this picture:

• Torn T-shirt (shredded to look like fringe). Check.
• Fingerless gloves. Check.
• Scarf tied around head. Check.
• Bandana around neck. Check.

I'm sure there are more that we just can't see.

A couple of other things bother me about this picture, though. First, why does the guy on the right look so scared of his bandmate's armpit hair? And second, why is blondie grabbing his bandmate's hair from behind and smiling so broadly?

My guess is that these guys are European and probably had an album or two out on some long-gone French label. Anyone?

Update: I "accidentally" discovered what band this is, and I will be stunned if anyone else gets it. Suffice to say, my guess (above) was right on the money. Good luck!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

JD Shirt: Not Meant For Tucking

OK, here's hoping this photo remains a mystery for more than 5 minutes.

What will forever remain a mystery, however, is why the dude in the middle, who is clearly the singer, decided to tuck that Jack Daniels shirt nice and snug into his high-waisted, slashed-up Levi's. And what's with the sport jacket with the rolled-up sleeves? The other sad-sacks (guess the photog didn't tell them to say "cheese") he's surrounded by at least had the good sense to sport some dead animal hide.

Anyway, if I had to guess, I'd say these boys are from the South and they probably were one of the many Maiden/Priest imitators of the day.

Update: So, yeah, I was waaaaaaay off with this one. "GJ," however, was not fooled at all. This is Swedish doom band Sorcerer. And according to BNR Metal Pages: "Sorcerer played classic Euro doom, in the style of early Candlemass." I got this photo with the demo they sent me in ’89. I'm pretty sure I recorded over that demo. Not sure if I ever even listened to it. But, c'mon, one look at that picture...