Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Fists of Metal!


I thought this post deserved a Manowar-esque title. I mean, forget the Invisible Orange, a clenched fist (shall we call it this gesture the Gerbil Squeeze?) suggests you're about to get a good pummeling—metaphorically speaking, of course. In this case, by two shirtless men. Savage!

This is another photo where I know the band's ID, and I think this may be an easy one. What's not so easy is having to stare at the dude on the right with the fish-belly-white chest. Dude in the middle is no picnic (though extra points for the natural 'fro!), but the metal platelets strapped across his chest at least give him some semblance of metalosity (yeah, that's a made-up word). Fish Belly just looks like he wanted to take off his shirt and join the fun—maybe do some man-hugging with his bro in the middle after the shoot was finished. I don't friggin' know.

I'll be sorely disappointed if this takes more than 24 hours to get, considering the total dearth of black dudes in metal bands in the '80s. And anyone who does know this band, I must insist that you share any and all info about them, and provide a full admision of how many of their albums you own (which I know will be tough to admit publicly...).

Update: Though he's apparently too shy to fess up to the full extent of his knowledge of this band, "Boleslaw" did manage to correctly ID them about 30 minutes after I posted the photo. It is, in fact, Mass from Germany. These dudes started up in the '70s but released most of their albums in the early '80s, including the gem below, Kick Your Ass, which I'm proud to say I own. According to Rockdetector, they actually toured with Celtic Frost in 1985. Now that would have been something to see.

Monday, January 19, 2009

I Swear This Band Is From The '80s


I love this photo and, yeah, I know what band this is. I will be suitably impressed if anyone else gets this, because this is waaaay underground.

But look at that photo! It could have been taken in 1975! The facial hair, the leather jacket, the...everything! It's glorious how unintentionally retro this band looked. Once someone figures out their ID, I'll give you the full explanation as to why they look like this.

In the meantime, bask in the gloriousness of this photo and toss out a few guesses as to who it might be. (And, no, it's not Black Sabbath circa the Ian Gillan era, despite the obvious similarities...).

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Invisible Lemons?


Since this photo dates from circa 1985 this is an early representation of the Invisible Oranges hand gesture. Dude on the left, unfortunately, looks like he's holding a couple of invisible lemons. He also seems to be wearing some hockey gear--hilariously utilized around the same time by Raven. Guess it helps do the killer knee slides when you're busting out a solo or something. It also vaguely looks like armor.

As for the rest of the crew...where to begin. Eye makeup? Really, dude? The outfit says, James Hetfield, but the eye makeup kind of looks like Slayer circa 1983. Even they figured out that was a bad idea pretty quickly.

Multi-zippered PVC pants? They immediately bring Michael Jackson circa "Thriller" to my mind, but maybe Judas Priest were rockin' this kind of gear back then in the Turbo days. They are unfortunate, either way

Anyway, there's much to be amused by here (not the least of which is the fact that this was shot at a professional photo studio, you know like where people get family portraits done and such). I know who this band is and I'm curious to see who else can figure it out from this excellent photo.

Update: Once again I must congratulate Mr. Sound of the Beast (soon to be translated into Urdu) himself, Ian Christe, for coming through with the answer: Attila. Though there have been other bands with this moniker (including--I shit you not--a "party death metal" band from Georgia), these guys were the original. Formed in the early '80s in NYC, they contributed to a couple of comps, including Speed Metal Hell, and released one album on Shattered Records, Rolling Thunder, in 1986.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Anyone Look Familiar?


Welcome to 2009. Can't believe we're almost through with this unnameable decade (the double-oughts?). So, we're starting the new year with something that actually is a reference to an older post that still remains unsolved. I dunno if this band is any more recognizable, but they were on a major label for a brief period of time. And, one member of this band was also in that older photo I posted.

BTW, the reason for the weird crop on this photo is one of the knuckleheads was wearing his own band's shirt, thus a dead giveaway. (Informal poll: Your thoughts on this practice? Cool or totally cheesy?) So, we're just left with four leather-clad, relatively average-looking longhairs.

However, comparing this to that older photo, the lone holdover has clearly improved his appearance. There's not a dude in that old post who doesn't look like a complete goof (and I'm being kind here), even though the photos were probably taken just a few years apart.

Have fun comparing them and here's hoping that someone will be able to figure them both out.

Update: Guess it just took some fresh eyes to figure this one out. Carlos checked in with the correct answer of Toranaga, from the UK, who put their debut out on Peaceville Records, signed to Chrysalis, released a second album and then more or less disappeared. Dude in the front is vocalist Mark Duffy, who was also in Millennium--the rather unfortunate-looking NWOBHM band that seemingly took its promo photo at Kmart. Duffy was rocking a mullet back in the Millennium days, something he wisely abandoned in Toranaga. Duffy is still in the music biz and his latest project is called Face the Unknown.