Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Conjoined Twins of Different Mothers

I'm pretty sure these fellas were on a major label, so this oughtta be a slam dunk for someone. Though I scanned this one months ago (and it had the band's name on the photo), I'll admit at the moment that I have no idea who it is. Mostly just because, well, they look rather generic and very cheesy.

First of all, the only reason two dudes in a metal band should be sitting like the guys on the right is if a) they are conjoined twins, b) one of them is actually dead and needs to be propped up (a la Weekend at Bernie's), or c) they are homosexual lovers. I don't know what the deal is here, but let's just all agree to agree that this is Not Metal. Nor are the white ankle-length leather boots, but I don't gotta tell you that, do I?

Egregious crime against metal #2: dude in background wearing what looks to be white cowboy boots with cutoffs. It's bad enough that the guy is wearing a ruffle-front shirt with a polka-dot vest, but that's just embarrassing.

And the hair is typical for circa 1989: Perms and mousse for all! I'm sure it made the ladies swoon back in the day, but now it just looks clownish.

Though I'm sure they'll cringe to be identified, we must know who these guys are.

UPDATE: Over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend, "Anonymous" correctly identified these guys as Mass—the Boston version, as there are several around the world. These guys were signed to RCA in the mid '80s, though this photo was after they were dropped and had signed to a large indie. They had one minor hit that you may recognize here. Not surprisingly, this band is reunited, hopefully without any of the above gear.